1. This is a terrible watch
2. But it is also kind of a great watch.
3. (It's because of the internet.)
I kind of can't believe I bought this watch ($19). But at the same time I totally understand why I bought this watch. It is a 1996 watch, and I bought it 100% because of the caseback, and for history. Here is the caseback, have a look, and I'll return to it.
The best way to explain this watch is to show a video, above. You can see it has many yellow smile faces, each sticking out its tongue. There are to be exact, ____ of these faces, ___ on the dial, ____ actually imprinted on the surface of the crystal, and ____ which are printed on a clear (sort of clear) plastic disc, which ticks along with the seconds. The faces are mostly identical, though the ones on the disk are more yellow and less orange, and and are also slightly smaller. It's kind of a ridiculous watch. The hour and minute hands are barely visible. Not only because of all the faces, but they are thin, "metal colored," and don't stand out very well against the background of the dial. And that is even before you add the faces. And the truncated 6 ad 12 are just ridiculous, please. It would be one of the worst watches I've ever seen, for routine day-to-day time telling. It would be so un-fun to use.
end
The movement is kind of cool, nice copper coils. But I didn't buy it for the movement.
Take a look at the caseback again. The caseback has a ton of information. Almost a crazy amount of information, more than most backs.
The info:
1. Made in China.
2. A collab, it seems, between TIMEX and "J0E B0XER."
3. Water resistant.
4. It tells you to use a no. 395 battery (I love when they tell you, super helpful.)
5. The D9 tells you it was made in September 1996.
6. It is also stamped copyright 1996.
7. Steel back, base metal bezel, etc.
8. Also, just look how many times it has the name "J0E B0XER." FOUR times!
9. If that is not enough J0E B0XER, there in the middle is the smiling tongue face. You can't escape the face.
***********
But the reason I bought this watch is because amidst all that other stuff, it has stamped on the back, "contact us on the world wide web."
What is so special about that? Well, nothing is special. It is actually boring. But it is, for me, the recollection of the banality of that phrase, "contact us on the world wide web," or "find us on the world wide web" that was at that time emerging, and that now feels actually kind of special to hear again.
Have another look at this watch. All those faces. The time-telling feature of this watch is almost incidental. It's really about the faces. And underpants. Because this watch is primarily about underpants. If you don't know, J0E B0XER is an underpants company. I'm sure now they would call themselves a "lifestyle" company. But all I can think of are underpants. And I'm not really into underpants, as like a special novelty thing.
But I bought this watch anyway, because of a kind of weird appreciation, and fond recollection for the moment when it was made, 1996, and the almost quaint phrase, "contact us on the world wide web."
I am without question a digital immigrant. I obtained my first email address in July 1992, and began using the web in 1994. So, when by only 1996 J0E B0XER told us where to find him on that caseback, there were still many companies that were not on the web at all, or if so their presence was symbolic, more like a placemark to see if this thing was going to pan out. The beta release of the Netscape browser was in late 1994 (September) So to be honest, J0E asking us to contact them on the web, sometime in 1996 when this watch was made, two years or less from the Netscape release, was in retrospect a kind of awesome thing.
